For those of you who are self-employed, you've probably experienced the challenges that come along with working at home. You become the "go to" person for friends and family members in need and that can sometimes weigh heavily on your business. The past few weeks for me have been the toughest I've faced in a long while when it comes to balancing business with family. My daughter and I have passed flu symptoms back and forth for a few weeks and my mom was told she has a tumor in her shoulder that has apparently been there for a while. She's had a lot of pain for a couple of years and her shoulder is inflamed. She can't stand anything near it, but had no idea there was a tumor until a new rheumatologist informed her of its existence. Her doctor of 40 years recently retired and she's been seeing his physician's assistant and even though her doctor's office had the x-rays, they didn't tell her about it. Mom went to a surgeon who didn't know how to get the tumor out to biopsy it because it's in her shoulder cage so she had to see an orthopedic surgeon but had to cancel when she started getting the same symptoms we've been passing around and her fever went up to 103. After a day and night with her in the emergency room, she seems to be doing better but still needs surgery. Since I have a flexible schedule even though I work full time and go to school full time, I'm the one who cares for her when she's sick. I wouldn't have it any other way because family comes first.

However, there are times when we have to learn to say no so that we can focus on our businesses. Just because you're home during the day when everyone else in the office, those who are close to you assume you're available, and their intentions are usually not bad, they just don't think about your schedule.

I've been working at home off and on since 1996 when my daughter was diagnosed with Lupus and my employers allowed me to work from home. I've had a lot of experience with having to say no since then. 

Some of the time consuming traps you can fall into are long phone conversations, errands, babysitting, appointments, shopping, friends stopping by, and various favors. In my line of work, at times a distraction is good and needed in order to refocus when I’m stuck on a sentence or a particular word. Sometimes a break is exactly what I need and I’ll make the phone call and be distracted for an hour and return to work refreshed. Most times I ignore the phone and pretend I’m in an office and I’m not allowed to take calls. This works well when I’m focused and concentrating on the topic at hand. (My friends and family have learned that I rarely answer the phone and that e-mail is the fastest way to reach me.)

In summary, if you’re just starting out in business, or if you’ve been in business for a while and find yourself in one of the traps, educate your friends and family on your office times and let them know that they come first but your business is important. Ask them to pretend you’re at the office and not to expect any more from you than they would if you were gone from nine to five. Let them know that at times you might want their distraction, but not to distract you unless it’s after office hours. If they want you to succeed, they will respect the boundaries you set as long as they are clearly expressed.

In the case of my mom, I will always put her before any project, within reason. We only have one mom in our lives and family and friends are to be cherished and loved. I love that I no longer have dictated to me what time I can spend with my loved ones.

Thank you for reading my blog and may you have a blessed day.